


Tears

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-18
Updated: 2008-10-18
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8713981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jensen hates filming certain scenes





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** No real spoilers, although I got the idea after watching S2 episode "Heart"

  
Author's notes: My first fic here, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. maybe not the best, just very shameless fluff and sappyness. I'll do better, now that I've cleared my head!  


* * *

”And CUT! Excellent work guys, it was just beautiful. That´s a wrap for today!” Jared smiled and scrubbed at his face, smearing the make-up as he wiped his tears away. He turned to look at Jensen, only to see his retreating back. That was a bit odd, he never took off just like that. Usually they talked the scene through while heading back to their trailers together. Maybe nature called, Jared figured. But still, for him not to say anything was out of the ordinary. He decided to head over to his co-star’s trailer. 

 

Jensen sat huddled in a corner of the couch, tears still running down his cheeks. He’d dreaded this scene ever since he’d read the script, knowing he’d end up a nervous wreck. Which he’d just proven right by taking off and sitting here like a forlorn fool. It was ridiculous, it was wrong, it was stupid, but he couldn’t help it. Whenever they had to do a scene where Jared cried Jensen just wanted to remove the world of hurt he could see there. Jared was too good an actor for Jensen’s peace of mind. He could never keep a straight face when Jared decided to make him laugh, but neither could he ignore when his friend was sad. And it had gotten so bad that he only had to act sad for Jensen to be fucked up. That he wanted to be more than friends there was no doubt about, but he doubted Jared felt the same. So he shut up and tried to ignore it all. But that was easier said than done with Jared’s face drenched in tears, his face twisted with emotion. He was way up the famous creek without a paddle, he thought with a sigh. His thoughts were interrupted by a rap on the door, followed by Jared’s voice calling out ”Hey dude, you okay?” No he was NOT okay, and Jared wasn’t the person he wanted to see right now. Well, he wanted to, but he didn’t want to be seen like this. Maybe if he didn’t open Jared would go away. Of course that didn’t happen, instead he used the spare key to let himself in. 

 

Jared stepped in, stared at Jensen for a second before rushing to his side. He sank down and put an arm around Jensen’s shoulder.

 

”Hey Jen, what’s wrong? Don’t scare me like this, talk to me! What happened, did you get bad news? Has anything happened to your family?” Jensen just turned away, trying to get himself under control, trying to stop the tears. It was easier now that Jared was here, and not crying.

 

”It’s nothing, dude. Nothing’s happened, everything’s fine, I’m just being a dumb-ass. It’s okay, I just need a minute.”

 

”It’s not okay! Jensen, you’re not the crying type and you scare the shit out of me. Please, please, tell me what’s wrong! Any bad memories surface while we shot, something like that?” Jensen shook his head and felt the beginnigs of a hot blush steal over his face. And he *did not* blush easily. Damn it, why did thay have to shoot that ep? Everything would have been fine if not for that scene! Jared was still staring at him, hazel eyes filled with concern. Jensen could even see the remnants of tears on his face. Maybe it was time to confess, maybe everything had been leading up to this. He was tired of lying anyway, tired of denial. Maybe Jared would just laugh if off and not let it come between them. He prayed it would be like that. He drew a deep breath that hitched slightly in his chest.

 

”It really is stupid, Jay. I can’t help it. Nothing’s wrong except… you cried.”

 

”No i didn’t, Sam cried. He was supposed to, remember?” The answer was prompt, and it didn’t make it easier on Jensen. Jared was still looking at him, pushing his hair out of his eyes with one hand. It was something Jensen had ached to do a long time.

 

”I know he was supposed to, but you’re playing Sam. So it was you who cried. And I hate it when you cry like that, especially when it’s an intense shoot overall. It messes me up totally, as you can see.” 

 

Jared stared at him, he could almost see the cogs spinning in his head as he tried to wrap his thoughts around what he’d been told.

 

”Are you saying this is because I acted? Because I had to be sad?” He averted his face and nodded. If he blushed any harder his head would explode. ”I’m an actor Jen, so are you. We’re supposed to be emotional from time to time. I mean, you’ve cried on set before.”

 

”That’s different. A few silent tears and that’s that. But you cried, tears streaming down your face and I just can’t take it. I want to do everything to make you feel better. And that’s how I feel when we’re filming, I don’t know what I’d do if it was for real.” Jared looked at him, a small smile forming on his lips. He reached over and with the pad of his thumb gently brushed a tear away from Jensen’s cheek. They were flowing again and Jensen wasn’t even aware of it. He found himself drawn into Jared’s eyes, just staring. He was sure his mouth was hanging open, but he just didn’t care. ”I’m sorry Jay, it’s so fucking stupid, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. It’s not your fault, I’m just really messed up. You don’t need this, just pretend it never happened.” Jared gave a laugh.

 

”You tell me what amounts to the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me, and you want me to forget it? How could I do that with you looking at me like this?” Jensen saw tears begin to form in Jared’s eyes. He didn’t even think, he just leant forward and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, barely a brush of lips. His brain was screaming all kind of things at him, foremost that he was being an idiot. He pulled back almost immediately, looking at Jared. He had a surprised expression on his face. Jensen suspected his own expressin was more like a deer’s, caught in the headlights. Jared looked at him, giving a slow blink.

 

”What was that for?” Jensen felt his brain short-circuit again, trying to find a good explanation.

 

”I just… you’re my best friend, and you don’t laugh at me for being stupid, not even now when I’m more stupid, and you don’t yell at me… Why aren’t you yelling at me?” He knew he looked stupid, bordering on insane probably. And that was how he felt. Insanity lurked around the corner, waiting to take over when Jared finally got over the shock and started calling him all kind of things. Surely he would do that? Jensen probably would if the roles had been reversed, but then he wasn’t as nice as Jay… And it was never a good sign when his own mind was rambling inside his head. But Jared gave a soft smile that lit up his face, although it looked a bit sad at the same time.

 

”Why would I yell at you for caring? Come on, we’re past that, we’ve got a better friendship than that. Sure, you’ve never kissed me before, but I can survive that. It was just a friendly kiss anyhow, right?” He gave Jensen the perfect way out, to just shrug it off and agree and continue on their merry way in their friendship. But his brain had really fried, because his mouth started running without his brain being contacted in any way.

 

”I’m sorry Jay, but you’re more than a friend. You’ve always been more that a friend, and I just want you to know. I don’t expect you to say or do anything about it, I just wanted to be honest with you. So can we just forget all this now, because I don’t want to lose your friendship.” He felt like he was back at that painfully awkward stage as a teenager, where he had no control over his mind or his body, when he’d just blurted things out. He should have tried to distance himself, harden himself. Damn Jared and his fucking beautiful tears! If the man could just be a worse actor this wouldn’t be a problem. After all he’d hidden his own feelings for a long time, and now he’d just let the cat out of the bag. Hopefully Jared thought he was coming down with the flu or something. But Jared was looking at him with something bordering on fear. His eyes were wide open and a faint blush was spreading across his face.

 

”What do you mean with ’more than a friend’, Jen? I think it’s important that you’re being totally honset with me. Level with me here, man.” Jensen flipped, just a tiny bit.

 

”How much clearer do I need to be? I’m in love with you, you idiot! And I don’t want to be, because I don’t want to lose you.” The last was whispered and he flinched as he heard his voice cracking. His entire world was shattering, it felt like. He’d never be able to look at his friend again, and everything was going down the drain. Still he couldn’t help but glancing up at Jared, who looked a bit like a fish on dry land. He closed his mouth, opened it, closed it and opened it again.

 

”You’re in love with me, but you don’t want to be? Because you’ll lose me if you’re in love with me? I don’t follow how you think, Jen, but it doesn’t matter. You won’t lose me.” He leant forward and kissed Jensen again, just a soft press of lips. ”You really are a dumb-ass, though. I thought you’d figured out that I love you as well. And you had to tell me this because I cried? I have to cry more often if it affects you like that,” He said with a brilliant smile. Jensen smiled back, his heart swelling painfully in his chest with happiness.

 

”Please don’t do that, you’ll leave me a total wreck.” Then he captured Jared’s lips again, deepening the kiss this time. 

 

It felt like heaven, the velvety warmth of his friend’s mouth, and kissing him felt like coming home. As they kissed Jensen felt a lone tear roll down his cheek, but this was a good tear, a tear of joy. His world was perfect now.


End file.
